I’m facing the reality that at the age of 53 I made the somewhat spontaneous decision to go back to school and get my master’s degree. When I made this decision, all I was thinking was that the program sounded like my kind of program, it’s something I always wanted to do, and I thought it would be fun.

I assumed that it would be easy, something I would enjoy.

What I found was there’s also discomfort: discomfort because it’s a new situation, in being back at school, being in the gender minority, being the oldest, being a lesbian. Before class even started, I was surprised to find myself noticing these things.

Now I’m engaged in the process—the learning curve—of what it’s like to write a paper for the first time in 30 years, dealing with the new technology, working with financial statements for billion-dollar companies, and working with a team of men (not my people, not the same communication style).

So I had a meltdown 3 weeks into the class. The teacher couldn’t teach, there’s wasn’t enough structure or enough support. I couldn’t implement my normal strategies to solve problems. I was a failure. I cried. A lot.

And then I regrouped. I remembered that I’m not the only one having these feelings. It’s likely that most people in a new situation are experiencing some level of discomfort.

I realized there wasn’t anything wrong with me—this was natural. This is life. I evaluated my commitment to this process and realized that I am not a quitter. It became a challenge—which was the container I could put this process in for myself. I created my own structure.

What helps you deal with a new circumstance?

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What matters most

by Deputy Diva on December 14, 2009

in Inspiration

what-matters-now_Page_01I stole this short essay on Strengths from a wonderful PDF of sayings from amazing people compiled by Seth Godin. You can download the entire online book here. I highly recommend it—it’s a great way to get yourself in the mood to envision 2010. Ask yourself which of these stories resonates most strongly with you. And then imagine having a lot more of that in your life.

STRENGTHS

Forget about working on your weaknesses —> Focus on supporting your strengths.
I worked on my weaknesses for 40 years to little avail. Still “needs improvement,” as they say. Why? Easy. We hate doing things we’re not good at, so we avoid them. No practice makes perfect hard to attain.
But my strengths – ah, I love my strengths. I’ll work on them till the purple cows come home. When we love what we do, we do more and more, and pretty soon we’re pretty good at it.
The beautiful thing about being on a team is that, believe it or not, lots of people love doing the things you hate. And hate doing the things you love. So quit diligently developing your weaknesses. Instead, partner with someone very UNlike you, share the work and share the wealth and everyone’s happy.
Relatedly, women are rather UNlike men and often approach problems and opportunities with a different outlook. Yet books and coaches oen encourage us to adopt male strengths and, lacking understanding, to relinquish our own. The irony is, studies show that more women in leadership translates unequivocally into better business results.
Wouldn’t it make more sense for both men and women to appreciate each other’s strengths so we all work on what comes naturally?
Marti Barletta, speaker, consultant and author of Marketing to Women and PrimeTime Women; is currently working on her next book, Attracting Women: Marketing Your Company to the
21st Century’s Best Candidates.

Forget about working on your weaknesses —> Focus on supporting your strengths.

I worked on my weaknesses for 40 years to little avail. Still “needs improvement,” as they say. Why? Easy. We hate doing things we’re not good at, so we avoid them. No practice makes perfect hard to attain.

But my strengths – ah, I love my strengths. I’ll work on them till the purple cows come home. When we love what we do, we do more and more, and pretty soon we’re pretty good at it.

The beautiful thing about being on a team is that, believe it or not, lots of people love doing the things you hate. And hate doing the things you love. So quit diligently developing your weaknesses. Instead, partner with someone very UNlike you, share the work and share the wealth and everyone’s happy.

Relatedly, women are rather UNlike men and often approach problems and opportunities with a different outlook. Yet books and coaches oen encourage us to adopt male strengths and, lacking understanding, to relinquish our own. The irony is, studies show that more women in leadership translates unequivocally into better business results.

Wouldn’t it make more sense for both men and women to appreciate each other’s strengths so we all work on what comes naturally?

Marti Barletta, speaker, consultant and author of Marketing to Women and PrimeTime Women is currently working on her next book, Attracting Women: Marketing Your Company to the 21st Century’s Best Candidates.

This post was written by Virginia Reuter of Ardentio for the Biz Diva.

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Giving it away

November 17, 2009

I had an interesting week last week; lots of meetings with powerful, smart businesswomen. I met maybe ten new women, got to know two relatively-new women better, met with six I know pretty well in the Biz Diva’s group, and one very old friend.
This is what I heard: I’m good at this, I’m the best [...]

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The Lone Rider slept here

October 1, 2009

Having started and successfully exited several businesses, one learning curve I faced over and over again was my determination to go it alone. Fortunately, by the time I began building the business that grew into a multimillion dollar company, I had learned to get help!
We tend to have resistance to getting help because we think we [...]

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5 ways to know if you are financially illiterate

August 30, 2009

Do you know how money works? Ben Steverman at BusinessWeek claims that Americans are functionally illiterate. Are you one of those Americans?
1) Do you have personal credit-card debt greater than one month’s salary?
2) Is your house payment (or your rent) more than 30% of your monthly income?
3) Do you have a savings account? Does it have [...]

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Biz Diva: ubiquitous, peripatetic, coming soon to a venue near you!

August 20, 2009

If you’re anything like some entrepreneuresses I know, you may have been putting off some of the hard work of managing your business ’til September. These lazy days of summer may be affecting your motivation…
But! The Biz Diva is ready to help you get that magic back. She’s everywhere in the next month, assuring that [...]

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Confidence: Why it’s Your Greatest Business Asset

August 4, 2009

Guest post by Julia D. Stege, MFA
Have you noticed a lot of people are in fear these days? They are falling prey to the negativity in the media and worrying about the state of the economy. They have heard about folks losing their jobs or have friends in some tight spaces. Even if they [...]

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Last day to save $50!

August 2, 2009

Today (August 3) is the deadline for taking advantage of the Biz Diva’s deep discount for economical divas-to-be. If you sign up now (online here or call 707-823-1602) you can take the first step toward realizing your business goals—for only $199! After today, the cost goes up to $249. So don’t wait!
Oh, you. You want more [...]

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The joy of collaboration

August 2, 2009

I was just listening to a wonderful NPR story on FDR’s Civilian Conservation Corps. It was very moving to hear some of the people who’d worked on those projects talk about how it was the best time of their lives—even though they didn’t have much money and the work was very hard. One fellow said, [...]

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What’s the plan, business woman?

July 26, 2009

One day. One page. One plan. One dream come true.
At least it was for me. I went from frantically running in place at high speed, to jogging along happily in the direction of my business dream. Only it wasn’t just a dream: it was a plan. And it became a reality. Amazingly (to us, if [...]

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